Mortal Kombat Middle School!
by WildSugarPatches
Summary: Raiden takes a break from being a thunder god and becomes a teacher but quickly learns that being a teacher is not what it cracks up to be.
1. First day on the job

Raiden walked into the vacant classroom and cleared his desk, polished his emblem, and plucked all the gum from underneath the desk. Being a thunder god was hard work so when a school called for a new opening for a teacher, of course he accepted. Raiden looked normal, well almost normal if you count glowing eyes and a giant hat over jeans and a t-shirt as normal. He heard a knock on the door and smiled, seeing the principle Shao Kahn.

"Hello Shao Kahn, where are the students?" Raiden asked. Shao Kahn smiled.

"They are here, if any one of them gives you trouble, let me know and I will come down here and have a talk with them. Oh, word of advice, do not let Hanzo or Bi-Han sit together nor Mileena or Kitana" Shao Kahn warned. Raiden nodded and bowed.

"Thank you Shao Kahn" he said and watched as his students filled the room. To be in the seventh grade those kids looked like they needed to be in ninth or tenth considering how developed they looked. Especially the girls, Raiden didn't want to seem like a pervert but a seventh grade girl shouldn't have breast as big as these had, and neither should the boys have advanced arm muscles like these did.

"Hello fellow students, I am your teacher Raiden" Raiden said and smiled. Sindel, the assistant teacher walked in and winked at Raiden.

"Hello Raiden" the students mumbled.

"Okay, let us take role shall we?" Raiden asked. Mileena, Sonya and Khamelon rolled across the floor and Raiden looked at them with an eyebrow raised.

"Why are you three rolling?" Raiden asked.

"You said to take a roll" the three answered and everyone giggled. Kitana shook her head and walked up to Raiden.

"Mr. Raiden, I am terribly sorry about that. My sister corrupts people to do things and I will make sure she won't do it again" Kitana said. Raiden nodded.

"Hanzo Hasashi?" Raiden called.

"You will call me Scorpion, my clan and my family only deserved to call me Hanzo" Scorpion said coldly. Raiden stared at Scorpion.

"Bi-Han?"

"Sub-Zero please" Sub-Zero pleaded. Scorpion flicked Sub-Zero off and then Sub-Zero started to cry.

"Mileena, Kitana, Jade, Smoke, Frost, Ermac, Skarlet, Cyrax, Sektor, Liu Kang, Sonya, Jax, Kano, Johnny Cage, Tanya, Li Mei, Kabal, Baraka, Kung Lao, Reptile, Goro, Sheeva, Kintaro, Noob, and Khamelon. Are you all here?" Raiden asked staring at his attendance sheet.

"Yes, we are all here" they said in unison. Raiden smiled.

"Alright then, let's start to get to know each other first. I am Raiden, god of thunder. How about you tell us what you want to do Mister Cage?" Raiden asked.

"Alright ladies, I'm going to be an actor and have lots of private jets and Lamborghinis" Johnny said and flashed a smile at Sonya.

"More like he will be a waste of space and eat trash for a living" Scorpion mumbled and everyone burst out laughing, including Johnny.

"Johnny, you do know that he just insulted you right?" Raiden asked. Johnny's left eye crossed with his right eye.

"Yes, I do know that. OHHHH a pop tart!" Johnny squealed and ran over to Kitana's book bag. He snatched it out and ate it in two quick bites and laughed.

"Well, that was awkward. Anyways, let's open out textbooks to page one-hundred and forty two and look at example one" Raiden said.

"Why don't we start at page one?" Mileena asked.

"Well, because you all should know how to solve two-step equations" Raiden said. Scorpion looked at Mileena and she hissed at him.

"Some of us don't. You should really start on page one" Mileena argued.

"Little one, I really think people know how to solve two-step equations" Raiden said with a hint of aggravation in his voice.

"Well I don't and neither does anyone else if I don't know how. The name's Mileena, not little one" Mileena seethed.

"Mileena, please go step outside" Raiden asked. Mileena stood up, raised a sai, and aimed for Raiden's throat. She launched the said but to her amazement, Raiden caught it in his palm without it bleeding!

"Mileena, outside, now" Raiden said and Mileena stomped outside.

"Now class, I am sorry for that little outburst. Does anyone have any questions?" Raiden asked. Liu Kang raised his hand.

"Yes?" Raiden asked.

"What is that on your head? Is that a giant fortune cookie?" Liu asked with joy.

"It is my hat. Now please skim over the page while I go talk to Mileena" Raiden asked.

_Inside the classroom:_

_Scorpion was choking Sub-Zero; Sonya was persuading Jax not to eat another hot dog since he had eaten twenty, and Kitana and Liu Kang were talking to each other. Kano, Goro, and Sheeva were shooting spitballs at the board and Kintaro drew Raiden in a banana suit on the overhead._

_In the hall with Raiden:_

"_Mileena, you are not in trouble, I just need to talk to you" Raiden said standing next to Mileena._

"_I'm sorry but I was being serious. What are two step equations?" Mileena asked. Raiden smiled._

"_See, we can do this! When I open the door, just go sit back at your desk and I will show you after-school" Raiden said and Mileena nodded._

Raiden opened the door and saw the weirdest thing. Everyone was seated down smiling like something fishy was going on. Nothing was out of place and when Raiden sat down in his chair, everyone giggled. Raiden looked at them curiously but then got up to go fix the overhead. Every student burst out laughing and Raiden looked behind him to see what was so hilarious. His butt was super glued to the chair and whenever he moved his pants would slide down a little.

"Raiden is now Butt Chair!" Sub-Zero said laughing.

"You are so lame. No wonder why Scorpion wants to kill you. His name should be Super Butt!" Frost yelled and everyone burst out laughing.

"Hey kids, help me get out of this!" Raiden yelled. Of course the 'good guys' went over and helped Raiden but then the bell rang and they all ran off. Raiden sighed and drunk some coffee from his world's best teacher mug. 'This is one tough class' he thought and sat there.


	2. Lunch time disaster

Raiden blew his whistle and all the students stopped what they were doing. They knew all too well what that whistle meant and since Raiden was a newbie at being a teacher, they were sure going to make it pure hell for him.

"Alright students, lunchtime! Line up in a single file line and make sure not to cut-" Raiden started to say but all the kids ran off.

"Whatever Super Butt" he heard Jade yell and all of the students burst out laughing. Raiden rubbed his temples and trudged to the cafeteria, watching the students act nicely.

"How are they doing Raiden?" Sindel asked walking behind him.

"T-they uh, um, are great! Super fantastic" Raiden stuttered. It was something about Sindel that drove Raiden love struck. Sindel nodded and walked away. Maybe that wasn't necessarily true about the students, but in a way it was. Suddenly a bag of chips sailed over Raiden's head.

"Maybe I spoke too soon" Raiden mumbled and slowly opened the door. He regretted opening it because as soon as he did, blueberry pie was slammed into his face and he fell backwards. His hat was swiped off his head and now oddly Johnny was on all fours, licking Raiden's face. Raiden pushed Johnny away in disgust and Johnny smiled.

"Johnny, what is wrong with you? Do you have no shame?" Raiden asked.

"I have shame Lord Raiden, I mean Mr. Raiden. I just don't ever take my medicine" Johnny said and skipped away.

"Elder Gods, please help that child" Raiden said and walked into the cafeteria. Jade and Smoke were dumping boat loads of juice into Kitana and Mileena's underpants, Kung Lao and Li Mei were throwing pies and Kintaro was still drawing drawings of Raiden in banana suits. Scorpion was dunking Sub-Zero in an ice box and Liu Kang was pretending to be a Texas Ranger, acting like bananas were guns and bottles of Kombat-Aid were the holsters. The rest of them were throwing chips, retching up food or calling Raiden Super Butt and laughing. Raiden felt his face turn a bright red and he couldn't take it anymore.

"STOP THIS MADNESS RIGHT NOW!" Raiden yelled and everyone stopped.

"Hey everybody, chill out. Super Butt wants our attention" Frost yelled and everyone burst out laughing again.

"MY NAME IS RAIDEN! I AM AN ALL POWERFULL GOD! STOP LAUGHING AT ME!" Raiden screamed frustrated but that only made them laugh harder. Raiden face palmed and then a bell rang.

"Recess!" Mileena yelled and they ran out cheering. Raiden growled in frustration and began to clean up everything before Shao Kahn found out about it. He found a small note under one of the tables that had Sindel's number on it and a lipstick print on it. He instantly got out of his bad mood and a strange smile formed on his face. When he got out on the field where 'recess' was held, he quickly lost his temper again. All of the children were gathered around in a circle and was tossing Raiden's hat around like it was a Frisbee.

"Little children, please give me back my hat" Raiden said calmly.

"If you want it, you got to get it Super Butt" Jade yelled and tossed it to Smoke. Smoke caught it and Raiden teleported over to him.

"Give me the hat Tomas" Raiden growled and Smoke only flashed him a sinister grin. Raiden looked at Smoke full of confusion and Smoke sped away from Raiden and handed it to Scorpion. Smoke and Scorpion had recently become buddies and Scorpion smiled, waving it around like Raiden was a dog.

"C'mon boy, come get it!" Scorpion taunted and when Raiden was one foot away from Scorpion, Scorpion threw it to Kitana. Kitana caught it and sliced it up in shreds and then finally gave it to Raiden. Raiden stomped of with a shredded hat leaning on his head and everyone rolled around laughing.

"That was awesome Kitana!" Liu Kang yelled. Kitana and everyone else sat around bored out of their minds.

"Hey, I know! We can still play Frisbee but with my hat this time!" Kung Lao yelled. Scorpion smacked the hell out of Kung Lao and Kung Lao winced.

"What the **FUCK** is wrong with you? We don't need any decapitations around here dumbass" Scorpion growled and Mileena giggled.

"Hey guys, look what Johnny is doing!" Kitana yelled and everyone turned their attention to Johnny. Johnny and Sub-Zero were both in pink tutus and were spinning around like ballerinas. Scorpion's jaw dropped when he saw Sub-Zero take off a thong he was wearing and everyone ran away screaming.

"Don't worry Sub-Zero, you and I are just alike!" Johnny said smiling and Sub-Zero hugged Johnny tightly.

_Back in the classroom…_

Raiden erased all the drawings of him in a banana costume off the board and the walls and sat down sighing.

"I honestly don't know what to do with all of you. I gladly accept a teaching job to help you all learn and you repay me like this? What is wrong with you all?" Raiden asked.

'Well Mr. Raiden, no one told you to become our teacher anyways. All we want to do is have fun and kick us some ass" Mileena said.

"Mileena, that's a detention for you" Raiden said pulling out a slip.

"Oh yeah, I get it. The all-powerful thunder god is upset because I answered a rhetorical question" Mileena growled.

"That's two now" Raiden said and pulled out another slip.

"Yo Super Butt, don't get your panties in a twist" Scorpion snapped.

"One for Scorpion too" Raiden said and pulled out a slip.

"Mr. Raiden, don't you think you're being just a little bit too hard on-" Kitana started to say.

"Kitana gets one too. How about the whole class?" Raiden asked pulling out multiple slips.

"Asshole" Kitana muttered and Raiden sent her a dirty look.

"Chill out dude. Hehe, get it? I wield ice; he needs to calm down, chill out?" Sub-Zero said.

"Sub-Zero, shut the hell up" Scorpion growled and Raiden walked outside. The bell rang and everyone ripped up all the detentions they were given and laughed about Scorpion's panty twist joke. Raiden assigned them homework before they left and then his phone rang.

"Hello?" Raiden asked sighing.

"Raiden, it's me, Sindel" Sindel said twirling the phone cord. Raiden instantly grew happy again.

"Hello Sindel! What do I owe for this lovely phone call from a lovely young lady?" Raiden asked raising an eyebrow.

"Aren't you a smooth criminal? Ha! Michael Jackson, smooth criminal, you being smooth? Anyways, I was calling to see what you were up to this evening" Sindel said.

"Nothing much. I was wondering the same thing" Raiden said trying to sound sexy like.

"Well, if you aren't busy I was wondering if you could come by my house tonight and we could just you know, talk and catch up on things" Sindel said sharping a nail.

"SOUNDS GREAT! I mean, uh, sure. Let me check my schedule" Raiden said going to his calendar. Of course there was nothing on it but he wanted to keep her in suspense.

"I'm free tonight" Raiden said trying to sound cool.

"Great, I'll see you at around 7:00?" Sindel asked.

"Sounds perfect" Raiden replied and hung up. He jumped off of his desk and did the worm across the floor a couple of times. Nothing could ruin his 'date' with Sindel, except maybe the fact that Johnny had insisted on following Raiden around all day. Raiden put on his best after shave, got some flowers, bought a tuxedo and rented a cool Lamborghini for his cool evening.


	3. Date disaster

Raiden pulled up at Sindel's house in his Lamborghini trying to look cool. Raiden stepped out brushing his tuxedo, put on extra after shave, and sprayed breath spray in his mouth. He walked up proudly with his chest puffed out and rang the doorbell. He didn't expect for the next thing to happen.

_Inside the house…_

"I got it mom!" Kitana yelled and dashed down the stairs to the door. She knew her mother really hadn't been seeing men lately so she was told to be on her best behavior. Kitana opened the door slowly with a smile on her face but then it disappeared.

_At the door…._

"Hello Sindel, I-" Raiden started to say but then he saw Kitana. Raiden's smile vanished and he sat there, looking at the girl who called him an asshole and shredded his hat on the 'playground'.

"Please tell me you're not mom's date" Kitana said softly hoping he wouldn't hear.

"Actually, I'm just here to hang out with her" Raiden said walking inside the house. Kitana made a grotesque face.

"Hang out? Adults really shouldn't use that word, now it isn't cool anymore" Kitana said and locked the front door. Mileena walked in the room and her orange eyes shot directly at Raiden.

"Oh hell no, hell to the fuck no. Why the hell are you here?" Mileena asked.

"Hello Mileena, nice to see you too" Raiden sighed.

"Mom, your date is here" Mileena yelled and then pulled out a sai.

"I really don't like you, you son of a bitch" Mileena growled.

"I have a mission for you two" Raiden said pulling out his wallet handing the two girls five dollar bills.

"I'm not doing anything, but I'll sure keep the money" Mileena said walking up stairs. Raiden teleported to where Mileena was, grabbed Kitana and locked them both in a closet.

"Get me out of here!" Mileena and Kitana screeched and then Sindel walked downstairs.

"Hello Raiden, what is that beating noise?" Sindel asked. Kitana stuck one of her fans through one of the slits in the closet and sliced a little bit of Raiden's arm. Raiden didn't even wince but he sent a giant burst of electricity through the closet.

"Uh, probably just a couple of kids beat boxing outside" Raiden lied and Sindel bought it. They walked over to the couch and Raiden sprayed some more breath  
spray in his mouth.

"So, how has teaching been going?" Sindel asked and took a sip of wine. Raiden took a sip himself and put a fake remote controlled mouse on her carpet.

"It's been going pretty good" Raiden lied. Sindel dropped her glass and screamed. Raiden noticed the mouse scurry across her carpet and decided it was super hero time and stepped in the way of the mouse and electrocuted it until it was burnt and wips of smoke filled the air.

"Thank you so much Raiden" Sindel swooned. Raiden bowed and swept the mouse away.

"It was my pleasure to help you" Raiden said acting smooth. Sindel kissed Raiden on his cheek and Raiden literally exploded. His body regenerated and he smiled.

"Was that supposed to happen?" Sindel asked scared.

"Yeah, uh, that happens whenever us gods feel affection or happy" Raiden said sipping some more wine.

"Oh really? Well what happens when they're aroused?" Sindel asked and glanced at Raiden. Raiden's eyes popped and he choked on his wine.

"Why don't we find out?" Sindel asked and sat on Raiden's lap. Raiden's emotions got mixed up and he accidently electrocuted Sindel on her bottom.

"I am so sorry Sindel that was not supposed to happen" Raiden said picking Sindel up. Sindel twisted his arm and leaned in closer to his face.

"I like pain Raiden. Oh and the safe word is 'More'" Sindel said giggling. _Elder Gods, this woman is insane_ Raiden thought but he kind of liked it. At least she wasn't Johnny insane. After fifteen minutes of teasing Sindel, Raiden opened his bag and Johnny popped out. Raiden and Sindel both screamed to the top of their lungs and Johnny just stood there with a pissed off expression on his face.

"Johnny, what in the name of the Elder Gods are you doing here!?" Raiden asked. Johnny stood there with his hands folded in front of his chest.

"You told me to stay home so I climbed in the bag. By the way Raiden, Spider Man boxers are sooo last year" Johnny said and walked outside.

"Johnny, that doesn't mean you can-" Raiden started to say but then Johnny ran off with his hand up indicating that Raiden shouldn't say anything else. Raiden sighed and looked back over at Sindel who was giggling because of all the wine she had drunken.

"Well Sindel, I think I might go" Raiden said and zipped up his bag. Suddenly, Sub-Zero jumped through the window and punched Raiden in his head.

"What the-"

"YOU MADE JOHNNY CRY YOU SON OF A BITCH!" Sub-Zero yelled and froze Raiden's middle half. Raiden grew so mad that the ice melted instantly and he tossed Sub-Zero outside next to Johnny. When Raiden turned around, Mileena and Kitana were in their fighting stances with weapons pointed at Raiden. Raiden didn't know what to do and in the heat of the moment he electrocuted the whole house and took off running.

"Look at that nigga running!" Shang Tsung yelled to Shao Kahn and they broke down laughing. Johnny was latched onto Raiden's leg and Raiden shook him off next to a trash can.

"Yo look! Super Butt's on the run!" Scorpion yelled and everyone ran after him. _Can't these kids give me a break? _Raiden thought and hid behind a dumpster. When he turned around, an iguana crawled up his pant leg.

"I know what to teach tomorrow" Raiden said and picked up the iguana, putting a pink bow on its head.


	4. Reptile's long lost love xD

All of Raiden's students slowly trudged in and Raiden had a huge smile on his face, which kind of scared them.

"Alright class, today we will learn about science! Living things, nonliving things, and about ecosystems" Raiden said and the students groaned.

"This motherfucker is so lame" Mileena and Scorpion said in unison.

"I have something in this jar, something that might entertain you" Raiden said.

"Motherfucker, this is not a fair okay? You are not a goddamn announcer" Smoke said and Jade giggled.

"Well, I guess you all don't want to meet Isabella" Raiden said and the students held a confused expression.

"Who the hell is Isabella?" Kitana asked.

"Isabella is a beautiful creature, with lovely green eyes and green skin" Raiden said lifting the sheet on the jar.

"Is she a fairy?" Sub-Zero asked and Scorpion lit him on fire.

"You deserved that. You know goddamn well there's no such thing as fairies dumbass motherfucker" Scorpion growled.

"Language Mister Hasashi" Mileena giggled. Scorpion sent her a cold glare and then stared at Raiden.

"So are you going to show us who Isabella is or not?" Sub-Zero asked licking his burned skin.

"Here she is" Raiden said and revealed the iguana. All of the boys groaned and walked outside while the girls stared at Isabella.

"She's kind of cute" Mileena said and picked her up, letting Isabella crawl on her skin.

"Of course you would think that" Frost grunted.

"What's that supposed to mean Frost?" Mileena asked defensively.

"Oh nothing, just that it is common sense that ugly people think ugly things are cute" Frost said. (I think Mileena is beautiful actually, so no offence to the Mileena lovers out there ^-^)

"You wanna go Frost?" Mileena asked and the two girls rolled around fighting each other. Kitana, Jade, Sheeva and Sonya jumped in to help Mileena because they couldn't stand Frost either. Raiden got up and sighed.

"Mileena, how do you always make something positive turn negative?" Raiden asked and walked to his chalk board. The door swung open and in popped Reptile.

"S-Sorry I am late, mom forgot to make me an acid s-shake" Reptile said and handed Raiden a tardy slip. Raiden accepted it and led Reptile over to a lab table.

"Since you are the only sane one right now, watch Isabella for me" Raiden said trying to pull the girls apart. Reptile looked around at the clock and then Isabella scampered over onto Reptile's desk, looking him dead in the eye. (Insert Marvin Gaye's song "Let's get it on" here XD)

"Isabella, you are beautiful" Reptile said breathtakingly. Isabella walked up Reptile's arm and it looked like she was nuzzling her head into his neck. Raiden was getting socked in the eye and he now had a sai in his left knee thanks to Mileena and a fan slice under his right eye thanks to Kitana. Raiden finally pulled the girls apart and the boys walked back in because there was really nothing else to do.

"Alright, now let's get back to the main lesson. Reptile, give me Isabella please" Raiden asked and extended his hand. Reptile dropped Isabella softly to the ground and she scampered by Kitana, who screamed like she was being killed.

"Oh my gosh! Get it away from me!" Kitana yelled and threw a book at Isabella. Reptile hissed at Kitana dangerously and pulled the fire alarm when no one was looking.

"Attention students and staff, this is a drill! Everyone outside!" Sindel yelled and one by one all the classes lined up outside. Reptile picked up Isabella and kissed her on her 'nose'.

"Man, that shit is disgusting" Sub-Zero said and Scorpion slapped the holy hell out of Sub-Zero.

"Man, you need to seriously shut the hell up. Leave the goddamn lizard or whatever it is and Reptile alone. At least he scored with a girl" Scorpion said and walked off with Reptile trailing closely behind him. Liu Kang didn't want Reptile to get in trouble so he launched a fireball into the main hallway and the school slowly burst into flames.

"Man what the hell is wrong with you Shaolin monks? Yall always going dangerous shit. That dumbass over there trying to decapitate people and shit while you over here trying to make the biggest homicide" Scorpion said and used his aura to make the flames vanish. Everyone walked back to their classrooms and Raiden banged his head multiple times on the wall.

"Super Butt's having a melt down!" Jade yelled and everyone burst out laughing. Raiden's left eye twitched and his whole body shook.

"Which one of you pulled the fire alarm?" Raiden asked in a calm soothing voice.

"I did it" Reptile said boldly.

"Why on Earth would you do that?!" Raiden yelled and Reptile snatched Isabella.

"You were going to take Izzy away from me" Reptile whined and ran to the back of the room.

"Her name is Isabella and I need you to give her back to me" Raiden said looking at the stubborn child. Reptile, without thinking, kicked Raiden in his nose and took off running with Isabella.

"The child hits me for a lizard" Raiden mumbled whipping blood from his nose.

"Well technically it was an iguana" Frost said fixing her hair.

"OH SHUT THE HELL UP" all of the girls yelled and Raiden nodded.

"You guys are so mean to me" Frost whined and whipped her eyes.

"It's because nobody likes you. You're just a bitch, the queen of bitches if I must say" Scorpion said and threw a pencil at the chalk board. The bell rang and without hesitation all of the children ran out of the door. Raiden sat there and looked at the vacant classroom.

"Is it ever too late to give Shao Kahn a letter of resignation?" Raiden asked and fell asleep.

**Will Reptile ever give Raiden back Izzy? Will Scorpion stop slapping people? Will Johnny's medical condition be revealed? Will I stop leaving cliff hangers? Also, will people start to like Frost? (You already know those last two were no's :D)**


	5. Scorpion meets Elmo XD

Raiden blew his whistle and all of the young Kombatants yelled and giggled with glee. Today Raiden was their gym teacher and you know what that meant. Yep, Raiden had on the gym shorts and tank top to go with it. It felt weird, like a cold chill was blowing through his shorts and the kids would not stop laughing at his leg hair. Raiden sighed and sat down with a blanket covering his legs.

"Alright everyone, today you will play a nice safe game of dodge ball" Raiden said.

"Why not the extreme version?!" Mileena yelled and Raiden shot her a dirty look.

"Just play it safe, I will be watching you" Raiden warned. Kitana figured they should only use three balls so she Mileena, and Jade threw them at full speed and force at Liu Kang. Liu fell backwards and his two front teeth fell out on the court.

"HEY! Didn't I say safe?" Raiden yelled and stomped down next to Kitana.

"You throw it like this" Raiden said and threw it lightly at Sub-Zero, who fell softly to the ground. Kitana nodded and hit Kenshi who ran face forward into a wall. It was Scorpion's turn and he picked up the ball and threw it. It slammed so hard on Johnny's ribs that Raiden could've sworn that Scorpion broke them.

"HEY! I said safe! Like this Scorpion" Raiden growled and demonstrated how to throw it softly. Scorpion threw it the way Raiden instructed and Scorpion's jaw dropped.

"WHAT THE FUCK? THIS IS BORING AS HELL!" Scorpion yelled and Raiden pinched Scorpion's ear.

"To guidance, now!" Raiden seethed and Scorpion just stood there. Raiden grabbed Scorpion and teleported to guidance. Scorpion stared at Sindel who got promoted to guidance counselor.

"Hey Scorpion, why are you here?" Sindel asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Electric dumbass got upset because I maimed gay ass Johnny Cage" Scorpion muttered and folded his hands in front of his chest.

"Well, all the profanity is not supposed to be coming out of a young man's mouth" Sindel said and pulled out a DVD.

"I'm not a young man, I'm a grown man and I'll say whatever the fuck I want to say" Scorpion grunted and flicked a pencil at Sindel. Sindel sighed and pulled out some black duct tape.

"I don't want to do this Scorpion" she said and Scorpion raised an eyebrow at her.

"What the hell are you talking about?" Scorpion asked and soon his arms and legs were taped and belted down to a chair.

"This video might help you" Sindel said and tapped his eyes open so he couldn't shut them or blink. All of a sudden, Elmo popped up on the screen and Scorpion screamed.

"NO! Get me the hell out of here!" Scorpion yelled and Sindel left, locking the door. The video was two hours long and Elmo giggled.

"Hey kids, did you know that shoes go on your feet and not your head?" Elmo asked and stared at Scorpion. Scorpion felt like Elmo's eyes were penetrating his soul.

"FUCK!" Scorpion yelled and Elmo popped out of the screen.

"No, no! Good boys don't use bad language" Elmo said and pulled out a device.

"Shut the hell up, gay ass puppet" Scorpion said and Elmo looked scary. His eyes lowered down and he suddenly grew eyebrows that formed in an evil 'v' shape.

"Naughty boy" Elmo said and electrocuted the holy hell out of Scorpion.

* * *

Mileena spun her sai around on the ground, bored out of her mind. Raiden now let them play soccer but he made them wear extra knee pads, helmets, arm bands, bowling shoes, and body suits. The poor children looked like mini snowmen walking around the court. Suddenly Mileena's Tarkatan senses kicked in and she heard Scorpion screaming to the top of his lungs. She snatched Kitana and Kitana screamed.

"Shut the hell up! We're going to go see why Scorpie is screaming" Mileena scorned. Kitana nodded.

"Can we kick some ass along the way?" Kitana asked with puppy dog eyes.

"FUCK YEA!" Mileena yelled and the two sped down the hallway.

_One hour of a killing montage later…_

Mileena jiggled the door handle and groaned but then Scorpion screamed again.

"What the-" Kitana started to say but then Mileena picked the lock with one of her sais. Elmo was on Scorpion's lap and was electrocuting and biting Scorpion.

"What the fuck?" Kitana asked and Mileena dove onto Elmo and slapped the shit out of him. Kitana picked Elmo up and kicked him out of the window. Mileena ran over to Scorpion and looked at his slightly burned skin.

"You okay Scorpie?" Mileena asked but Scorpion wasn't responding. His white eyes looked like they saw nothing but horror and his mouth was stuck into a giant 'o' shape.

"I will never watch Elmo again" Johnny said looking at Scorpion. Everyone expected for Scorpion to make a funny snide comment but Scorpion looked frozen in fear. They lifted him up and brought him back to the classroom.

"You know what, fuck you Raiden" Mileena said staring at Scorpion.

"It is not my fault this happened to him" Raiden said and electrocuted Scorpion to see what Scorpion would do but he only let out a slight whimper.

"He looks sexy like that" Sub-Zero said and planted a kiss on Scorpion's cheek. Almost instantly, Scorpion rose up and punched Sub-Zero in the nose.

"Gay ass" he muttered and everyone cheered.

"Scorpie is back to his original state" Mileena cheered and Frost frowned.

"I liked him better when he was frozen" Frost murmured and Mileena slapped Frost.

"Bitch" Mileena said and Frost laughed.

"I've been called worse. Your puny hits and small words won't hurt me. I am Frost! I will rule everything and-" Frost rambled but the Smoke punched her.

"But for now you're just a bitch on the floor" Smoke said and everyone burst out laughing. Frost got back up and shot Smoke a dirty look.

"I wasn't finished! I was going to say-" Frost started again but then she was tripped and everyone looked over at Scorpion.

"What? Bitches be trippin'" Scorpion said and everyone laughed. Even Raiden couldn't help but to chuckle lightly.


	6. Finding Reptile

Johnny Cage sat next to Sub-Zero and pinched his leg. Sub-Zero giggled and then he pinched Johnny's thigh. Johnny laughed lightly and then he poked Sub-Zero's nose. Sub-Zero blushed and kissed Johnny's cheek. Everyone looked at Johnny and Sub-Zero with their eyebrows raised.

"Gay asses" Scorpion mumbled and everyone stared at the teacher's desk. Raiden was nowhere to be found and Scorpion actually smiled for the first time in his life as a wraith.

"Fortune cookie man no here?" Liu asked and everyone cheered. Mileena and Kitana were doing backflips across the room and then Raiden appeared in the room with a boom box and some gold chains around his neck. He also had on some leopard print pants and a rainbow wig on that was in the shape of a giraffe. To match the wig, he had on clown shoes and he had a green tank top with grills in his mouth but he still kept the hat.

"What the fuck are you wearing?" Scorpion asked and Raiden smiled.

"I was going to see if I could get some laughs" Raiden said and then flicked up two middle fingers.

"No, just please stop, that's repulsive" Mileena said and covered her eyes. Raiden snapped his fingers and turned back to his normal teacher self.

"Alright, today we have to go find Reptile and Isabella" Raiden said and dusted his hat.

"Why we go search for him? He take iguana and run away, we no find him" Liu Kang said and chewed a piece off of Raiden hat and spit it out.

"This is no fortune cookie!" Liu Kang yelled and spit it out. Raiden stared at Liu with a blank look on his face.

"Anyways, keep on the lookout for green things because Reptile and Isabella are green" Raiden said.

"No… thank you so much! We never knew that" Scorpion said sarcastically with his mouth open. Raiden glanced at Scorpion and held up an Elmo puppet. Scorpion screamed to the top of his lungs and threw hell fire everywhere.

"KILL IT WITH FIRE! KILL IT BEFORE IT LAYS EGGS!" he yelled and everyone burst out laughing. Mileena raised a sai in the air and stabbed it in a desk so hard that it broke. That made everyone shut up.

"You all better not laugh at my Scorpie again or I swear I will refrigerate your bodies and microwave them as my dinner" Mileena hissed. Frost gulped.

"Thanks Mileena" Scorpion said and took deep breaths.

"Scorpion's gone soft!" Sub-Zero yelled and Scorpion choked the life out of Sub-Zero.

"Shut the fuck up and walk" Scorpion seethed and tied a rope around Sub-Zero. Sub-Zero walked hand in hand with Johnny Cage and Scorpion looked at them in disgust and quickly cut off the rope.

"I don't know what's scarier, Elmo or those two" Scorpion said and they all left the classroom.

Reptile and Isabella hid behind a sewage factory and Reptile sighed with relief.  
"Izzy, we are finally alone. Now I can take you to the movies, buy you clothes, take long walks with you, and we can get married" Reptile said and Isabella just stared at him.

"Those green eyes are a turn on" Reptile said softly and the iguana walked onto his nose and stared at him. Reptile kissed Isabella again and then he felt himself being dragged. Reptile looked up and saw Raiden staring at him with a pissed off expression.

"Leave me and Izzy alone! We belong together" Reptile hissed and Raiden almost laughed but then Liu Kang whacked Reptile on the head with a stick.

"You son of bitch, you make us walk and find you for iguana? Shame on you and your famiry" Liu said and shook his head. (I'm not stereotypical but I like making Liu Kang talk like that)

"Leave me alone Liu" Reptile said and Liu hit him hard with the stick. Reptile was dazed and Liu smiled proudly.

"Shaolin style modafucka" Liu said and dragged Reptile back to the classroom. Raiden made sure to get the iguana too so he put Isabella in his shirt pocket.

Reptile shook himself and looked around the room. Raiden was writing on the board and talking about something but Reptile didn't hear him. All he saw was the man who took Isabella away from him, _**HIS**_ Izzy.

"Where is Izzy?" Reptile asked and Scorpion put the iguana on Reptile's desk. Reptile giggled with glee and then Raiden turned around with a huge smile on his face.

"Alright students, there will be a Valentine's dance tomorrow" Raiden said and passed out tickets.

"Alright, who wants to go with the most beautiful girl in here, which is _moi_?" Frost asked pointing to herself.

"No one" Scorpion said and everyone burst out laughing.

"There is a person who wants me! I'm loveable!" Frost shouted.

"Yea, your own ice clone" Scorpion said and then everyone burst out laughing again. Frost chewed her lip and folded her hands in front of her chest.

"Reppy, you can go with Izzy" Mileena said and looked at Scorpion. Scorpion stared at Mileena and closed his eyes but when he opened them she was two inches in front of his face.

"How about you and I go together Scorpie?" Mileena asked.

"I don't care, I don't dance and I'm not getting you flowers" Scorpion grunted and Mileena kissed him repeatedly and happily. Scorpion tried to pry her off but she dug her nails in his shoulder blades and lay on his chest. Jade walked by to help but Mileena hissed at her and was prepared to bite her.

"You and I should go Smokey" Jade said and Smoke nodded. Sub-Zero and Johnny looked at each other and everyone knew who Johnny was going with and who Sub-Zero was going with.

"Liu, do you want to go with me?" Kitana asked. Liu shook his head yes.

"Yes of course! I go to dance with pretty girl" Liu said and ran off to buy flowers. Raiden watched all the students pair up with each other and he knew who he was going to try to get. Reptile suddenly pulled out a shiny fabric and cut it down to the smallest size he could. He tied it around Isabella's body and gave her one of those rings that are usually on a cupcake. He stuck her head through it and it looked like a hat. He pulled out some paper clips and spray painted them to match the "dress".

"You look wonderful Izzy" Reptile said and then used a Sharpie as eyeliner and glitter as eye shadow for Isabella. Raiden just stood there and watched the two sighing.


	7. Dance catastrophe

Raiden smiled seeing all the students watch the clock. One more minute and they'd be dancing the night away.

"I'll go to the dance with you Frost" Baraka said and Frost made a face.

"Get ready Izzy, you'll be the most beautiful girl out there" Reptile said and snuggled Isabella close to him. Scorpion turned around in his desk and stared at Johnny and Sub-Zero.

"So who's the woman in this relationship?" Scorpion asked actually amused. Mileena jumped from across her desk and landed perfectly in Scorpion's lap. To her surprise, he didn't push her, shove her, or stand up so she would fall out. Instead he stared down at her for a moment and then turned his attention back to Johnny and Sub-Zero.

"I guess I am. Johnny Bear is manlier" Sub-Zero said and laid on Johnny.

"Yea, Subby Wubby has to keep his delicate body nice for me" Johnny said and Scorpion just stared at them. He turned around and Mileena stared up at him with puppy dog eyes.

"Scorpion…" she trailed off.

"What?" he asked and then Mileena held out some flowers.

"You don't like teddy bears so maybe you'll like flowers" Mileena said. Scorpion made a face but then Mileena pulled out an Elmo puppet.

"THEY ARE BEAUTIFUL! THANKS MILEENA!" Scorpion yelled and Mileena put the Elmo puppet in her pocket. The bell had rung and Mileena grabbed Scorpion and dashed to the gymnasium. Kitana and Liu trailed right behind her and Kitana had a weird smile on her face.

"What wrong with your face?" Liu asked puzzled.

"Oh nothing, I just know we'll have a good time" Kitana said cheerfully. Liu watched her and nodded.

"Fortune cookie man host it?" Liu asked and Kitana nodded. Kitana dragged Liu inside the gym and there was heart shaped items everywhere. Mileena had to repeatedly pull out the Elmo puppet to keep Scorpion from lighting the decorations on fire.

"Alright folks, DJ Shao Kahn is here and I will take requests at this time" Shao Kahn said. Mileena and Kitana ran up there as fast as they could and handed Shao Kahn the CDs they had.

"Alright, here is a request from an unknown girl. Hold on tight to your girls boys because this beat will drive her away" Shao Kahn said and then a soft energetic beat came on. Mileena soared through the air and rolled over on the dance floor. Scorpion watched her from a distance and Mileena tore off her long Valentine's Day dress revealing fishnets, a corset top, shorts, heels, and a cinched belt leaning on her waist. Scorpion's jaw dropped and then the bass dropped. Mileena showed off her wild side in dancing then. She was spinning, leaping, rolling, and doing back flips. She jumped over to Scorpion and pulled him.

"Come dance" she cooed and Scorpion shook his head.

"I don't dance" Scorpion mumbled. Mileena pulled out the Elmo puppet again.

"I meant, let's go dance" Scorpion said and Mileena could see him sweating. She giggled and pulled him over on the dance floor. Scorpion just kicked his left leg and Mileena put her hands on her hips.

"Is that how you dance?" Mileena asked. Scorpion nodded.

"Well, I know how to get you to dance" Mileena said with a devious smile. She pulled out the puppet but this time it was moving! Scorpion screamed and since the song was still on, everyone stared at him like he was going to dance. The puppet chased him around the gym and Scorpion broke out into these weird spasms that made it look like he was dancing. It jumped on him and Scorpion slid across the floor, making it look like he was breakdancing but he was actually thrashing and flailing his arms and legs. The song went off and Scorpion threw the puppet on the ground full of confidence. He kicked it in the jaw, ripped its head off and chewed on its eyeballs.

"How's that for a dance and a battle?" Scorpion asked and Mileena felt on his biceps.

"Damn, even when he's scared of a puppet he still gets all the girls" Frost said and threw a cup on the ground. Raiden walked over to Sindel and Sindel smiled.

"Raiden, I want to apologize about the other night" Sindel said smoothing her hair.

"It's okay, how about you and I dance?" Raiden asked. Sindel nodded and then Raiden's smile instantly vanished. Liu Kang was in his dragon form, lighting the disco ball on fire. He then turned back to his normal form and then started dancing his special dance. (His Mk II dance when he does a friendship)

"LIU KANG! Stop that this instant" Raiden yelled.

"Fortune cookie man no like dancing?" Liu Kang asked.

"I am Raiden, not Fortune cookie man or Super Butt" Raiden growled. Just then Kitana nodded to Shao Kahn. He nodded back and played Kitana's CD. It was a slow song and then things got uncomfortable. Kitana pressed Liu close to her and Liu made a weird face trying to break free.

"Liu, what's wrong? You don't want to dance with me?" Kitana asked. Liu watched her eyes get watery and then he sighed.

"I dance with you, just not now. I rap and show my skills then dance" Liu said. Kitana nodded and then she sat down by herself at an empty table. She looked out of the corner of her eye and saw Mileena and Scorpion doing the worm.

"That's weird, doing the worm to a slow song. I've never saw that before" Kitana said out loud to herself. Johnny and Sub-Zero were dancing close together and Sub-Zero had a shiny red and pink dress on with a Marilyn Monroe wig and heart earrings.

"Alright, we have Liu Kang coming to rap for us" Shao Kahn said and handed Liu a microphone. A nice beat started and Liu smiled. Everyone turned their attention to Liu and Liu walked up and down the gym floor.

"_Ah, uh huh, let's do this. _

_Liu Kang, Shaolin Monk,_

_Better step back master of rap and funk_

_I got a cool chick, her name's Kitana,_

_Bad ass girl, her and her mama_

_Me and Kung Lao, we go way back_

_Fighting skills so good we crack your head and back_

_Aint afraid to fight, not afraid to die,_

_When I fight I look my opponent dead in his eyes._

_Bad ass motherfucker that's me,_

_Skills so good people call me Bruce Lee_

_Fire ball and bicycle kick bitches watch out,_

_Name Liu Kang keep it out of your fuckin' mouth_

_That's it, all I have to say_

_Now buy your girl some flowers for Valentine's Day._

Liu Kang dropped the microphone and everyone cheered. Kitana ran over to him and planted a kiss on his cheek.

"What the hell did I just do?!" Kitana yelled and saw Liu double over. Raiden laughed.

"Kitana, I removed your kiss of death for just today. I knew you were going to end up kissing him and I don't need blood everywhere. I just cleaned the gym" Raiden said and Kitana looked at Raiden.

"Then why is he doubling over?" Kitana asked. Liu cringed and stood up straight.

"Fucking Taco Bell" Liu said and ran to the bathroom. Kitana tried not to laugh and then Jade trotted over to her.

"Kit, how long does this dance last?" Jade asked.

"I don't know, aren't you having a good time with Smoke?" Kitana asked and raised an eyebrow.

"Yea, it's just, uh…" Jade started to say and then Smoke ran around the room laughing.

"I'm a pretty pretty princess!" Smoke yelled dashing off the wall.

"What did you do to him?" Kitana asked and Jade nervously scratched the back of her head.

"Well, uh, no one told me that Smoke gets easily wired up off of Pixie Sticks" Jade said sheepishly.

"How much did you give him?!" Kitana yelled.

"Uh, about sixteen" Jade said. Kitana face palmed.

"Yo everyone! I'm a robot pirate princess from outer space! Where's my seahorse?" Smoke asked and tripped over a cord.

"OH NO!" Raiden yelled. One by one, all the speakers toppled over like dominos. The speakers were huge, about 30 feet high and 10 feet wide. They fell over and one fell right on Raiden, the other on Baraka.

"Oh shit, Baraka's down!" Kitana and Mileena yelled.

"Nah, leave him alone. The motherfucker might turn out cute from those injuries" Scorpion said. Mileena giggled and ran over to Scorpion and all of a sudden a small finger inched out from underneath the speaker. It was Baraka's middle finger and he shot it at Scorpion but instead Mileena thought it was for her.

"I got you, bitch ass motherfucker" Mileena growled. Scorpion told her that the finger was for him but she only grew madder. She jumped onto a speaker and lifted it up. (The speakers each weigh about 7,500 pounds separately) Mileena hissed and threw it onto the speaker that was already on top of Baraka.

"Where are my fruity stickers?!" Smoke yelled.

"Up your ass" Mileena seethed and Scorpion fell asleep on the floor. Mileena curled up into a ball and lay next to him while Liu was the only person who was still dancing.

"Remind me to never accept another teaching job" Raiden said to himself and teleported himself from underneath the speaker and sighed heavily.


	8. Raiden finally quits

Raiden walked in the classroom and stared at his students.

"I am sure you all are aware of what happened yesterday" he said and sharpened a pencil.

"Yea, I handed Baraka's ass to him" Mileena said proudly. Raiden face palmed and shook his head.

"No, you injured another student very badly Mileena" Raiden said frowning.

"She did him a favor, maybe the motherfucker looks cute from the surgery now" Scorpion argued. Raiden sighed and gave each student a pencil and three sheets of paper.

"For the events of yesterday, you each will write on each paper front and back what I tell you" Raiden said.

"I didn't do anything" Jade protested.

"Ah but you did Miss Jade. You fed Mister Vrbada Pixie Sticks" Raiden argued and Jade frowned.

"So here is what you will all do. The sentence I tell you is what you will write five times legibly front and back. Mileena, I will not harm other students. Scorpion, I will not hurt items. Kitana, I will not pester people to rap. Liu Kang, I will talk correctly. Jade, I will not feed Smoke Pixie Sticks. Smoke, I will not eat Pixie Sticks offered to me. Frost, I will not be a female dog" Raiden instructed.

"But I wasn't being a female dog!" Frost yelled.

"Actually, you don't have to be one, you _**are**_ one" Raiden said and sat at his desk.

"Stupid Thunder God. Thinks he's all big and powerful" Mileena mumbled under her breath.

"Mileena, less talking more writing" Raiden said.

"Just because I hit someone with a speaker while outside of school in actual Mortal Kombat we uppercut and rip motherfuckers in half" Mileena mumbled but louder this time. Raiden heard what she said but tried to ignore it.

"With that ugly ass hat on. Fuck, I know why he's upset. He's never been laid" Mileena growled. That caught everyone's attention and Raiden stood up.

"Thinks he's Chuck Norris or Bruce Lee. Bullshit. We already have a Bruce Lee impersonator" Mileena said and broke the pencil in half. Raiden handed her another pencil and she ate the metal off of it and stomped on it.

"I can't believe this bastard is making us write just because of a goddamn dance. He's still upset because his 'precious girlfriend' didn't dance with him of have sex with him. Yea I know about the sex thing. I watched through the closet" Mileena said and stood up. Now she was face to face with the thunder god and Raiden covered his ears.

"I quit Shao Kahn! I quit!" Raiden yelled and ran out the door. Everyone cheered but then Liu spoke up.

"It is good that we have gotten rid of the menace, but are we the menace ourselves?" Liu asked. Everyone stared at him.

"Man, that was deep" Kung Lao said and Scorpion sat in Raiden's spinning chair.

"Alright little motherfuckers, I'm the teacher for the day" Scorpion said and leaned back in Raiden's chair like a boss. Mileena jumped on Scorpion's lap and he patted her head. She purred like a cat and Scorpion looked at everyone.

"First rule, give Smoke all the Pixie Sticks he wants. Second rule, none of that gay shit allowed like talking about prom or getting your hair done. Third rule, no homework, textbooks, or workbooks allowed. Fourth rule, wanna kick some ass? Fight right here in this room. Fifth rule, leave me the hell alone" Scorpion said and everyone cheered.

"Alright Frost, I challenge you to Mortal Kombat" Kitana said and the class lined up their desk out the way. Kitana stood in her fighting stance and so did Frost.

"Round one, FIGHT!" Scorpion yelled. Instead of seeing blood everywhere the two girls just rolled around pulling each other's hair and screaming right under Scorpion's feet.

"He seems just like Shao Kahn" Liu Kang said.

"Why? Because he gets all the bitches?" Kung Lao asked.

"Yea, wait.. HEY! Kitana is not a bitch" Liu grumbled. Kung Lao shrugged and watch the girls tumble around. Jade was feeling Scorpion's biceps and Skarlet was massaging his skull.

"Enough of that Kitana and Frost. You have bored me" Scorpion said waving his hand. Kitana ran over to Scorpion and fed him strawberries while Frost was massaging his feet.

"Yo Scorpion, who do you get all the bitches?" Kung Lao asked.

"First of all, never call a woman a bitch. Second, I'm a Shirai Ryu motherfuckers" Scorpion said and all the girls giggled.

"I think we've been girl napped" Smoke said. He watched as Jade giggled feeling Scorpion's biceps and he frowned. Liu Kang almost cried seeing Kitana share a strawberry with him and Ermac cringed seeing Skarlet massing his skull. Just then Sonya ran over to the boys.

"Go ahead Sonya, go over to Scorpion" Kung Lao said and Sonya made a face.

"A militarian and a wraith? Not my style. Listen up, I know how we can get Raiden's job back" Sonya said and the boys nodded. All of a sudden, Kitana, Jade, Skarlet and Frost were thrown off of Scorpion. Mileena scratched Scorpion lightly as if marking her territory and the girls held their heads.

"I'm so sorry Smokey. I don't know what came over me" Jade said and jumped into Smoke's arms. Smoke frowned and Jade pulled out a Pixie Stick.

"Liu, please forgive me" Kitana begged. She was down on her knees and Liu smiled.

"Alright" he said and pulled Kitana out of the classroom.

"We are pissed off" Ermac said to Skarlet. Skarlet cut herself and molded her blood into a heart shape.

"We are happy now" Ermac said and gladly took Skarlet.

"Scorpie, what the hell was that about?" Mileena asked in a warning tone. Scorpion shrugged.

"Relax Mileena, this chair made me space out for a moment" Scorpion said and Mileena nodded.

"I still have one question" Kitana said.

"What is it?" Liu asked.

"Since Ermac is made up of souls, if Skarlet has sex with him does that make her whore?" Kitana asked. Everyone grew quiet and even Ermac didn't know what to say.

"We do not know the answer" Ermac said and then walked out.

"Well I know one thing, we need to get Raiden back" Sonya said and everyone sighed. As much as they didn't want to admit it, Sonya was right.

"Alright, let's go find the electric bastard" Mileena sighed and opened the door.


	9. Getting Raiden back

Raiden had quit from teaching for three weeks now and he was now homeless and hungry. He walked from coffee shop to coffee shop to find food and drinks but they all waved him away saying he looked like a _Furui yagi_. Raiden sighed and lay onto an enormously full trash bag. He started to drift off into sleep but the images of those rotten, dirty, rude, conniving children. He tried to shake them away but then nice images of them popped into his head, like the first day he started teaching and he had to admit that the Valentine's Day dance was fun until Smoke tripped over that chord. Raiden tossed and turned on the trash bag, his hat chewed up by an actual _yagi. _His hair was out now, long, grey, and wild. Suddenly a sai was hurled through the air and landed directly in Raiden's right hand. He screamed out in pain and fell to the ground.

"There he is!" he heard and he took off running. Raiden grew pretty insane from being alone so he didn't know the kids were trying to get him to come back. He thought they were out to kill him. Rain pulled out the sai and threw in onto the ground and he kept running. Scorpion stared at the sai and really didn't feel like chasing Raiden.

"Mileena, lick your sai" Scorpion instructed. Mileena looked up at him in horror.

"EWWW! I don't want to taste disgusting old man blood!" Mileena whined.

"I'll kiss you if you lick it" Scorpion offered. (That didn't sound wrong at all XDD) Mileena didn't hesitate to pick up the bloody sai and she licked it clean. To her surprise, Raiden's blood actually tasted good and she wanted more.

"I want his blood" Mileena said softly. Scorpion petted Mileena.

"Tell me where he has ran off to and you can have as much of his blood as you want" Scorpion cooed. Mileena took a big sniff and smiled.

"Shoot your spear about two miles left and make sure not to pierce his chest. Waist only" Mileena reported. Scorpion nodded and shot out his spear. He whipped it around and it wrapped tightly around the thunder gods waist.

"GET THE FUCK OVER HERE!" Scorpion yelled and pulled his spear backward. Raiden came flying back towards them and Kung Lao caught him.

"YAY!" the kids yelled until the saw Raiden.

"What the hell happened?" Mileena asked still licking her sai. Kitana looked at her sister in disgust.

"Lord Raiden we are sorry we drove you crazy with our shenanigans" Sonya said bowing. Raiden had a crazy look in his eye and Scorpion didn't like it.

"Yo look. We didn't mean to drive you insane man, we're young assassins. Besides killing people and having people fear us, goofing off is our only other fun option" Jax said walking over to Raiden. Raiden picked Jax up and threw him into a moving garbage truck.

"JAX!" Sonya yelled and fan after Jax.

"Chill out man. Hehe, get it? I have ice powers; he needs to calm down…?" Sub-Zero asked.

"Sub-Zero, now is not the time for your lame ass jokes. They're not even jokes; they're sorry words that you think are funny. It wasn't even funny the first time you said it" Scorpion growled.

"Leave my girl alone!" Johnny yelled.

"Say the wannabe actor who's obsessed with punching and grabbing other dude's cocks" Mileena snarled. Scorpion couldn't help but to burst out laughing and Raiden just stood there.

"So anyway, we want you to come back as a teacher" Kitana said smiling. She held him close to her, so close he could see the stitching on her shirt. Slowly, the crazy look in Raiden's eye vanished. Reptile and Isabella appeared and Reptile smiled at Raiden. He hacked up some acid and spit it on Raiden but to Raiden's surprise, his face wasn't melting off. Instead he didn't look like a _Furui yagi _anymore. He was back to his normal thunder god self.

"Raiden, I am truly sorry about what we have said to you" Mileena said softly. Raiden nodded.

"I accept your apologies Mileena and all of you, but I cannot come back to teach. You all are too overwhelming" Raiden sighed. Mileena nodded to Kitana and Kitana nodded to Jade.

"Well Mr. Raiden, what did I give Smoke that made him trip over the chord again?" Jade asked innocently.

"You gave him a Pixie Stick Jade, speaking of which where is Smoke?" Raiden asked. When Jade smiled and clapped her hands, Smoke was running around like a wild animal. At a speed at 95 mph, Smoke was circling around Raiden so fast that Raiden couldn't see. To make matters worse, Smoke farted right in his face and a giant cloud of smoke swirled in front of Raiden's face.

"By the Gods! What did you eat besides Pixie Sticks Smoke?!" Raiden asked and waved his arms frantically in front of his face. What Raiden didn't know is that the three girls were sneaking up behind him with a large bag. Jade waved her hand around and Kung Lao pushed Smoke over a wire and Smoke fell into Raiden. The girls held the bag open and Raiden fell in without a say so.

"You were right, breaking the rules is fun!" Kitana said to Mileena and Mileena nodded.

"_**Now**_ you are my sister" Mileena said and Kitana giggled. Scorpion walked over to Mileena and tied the bag. When he stood up Mileena cleared her throat.

"Don't you owe me something Scorpie?" Mileena asked. Scorpion clenched his fist and planted a small kiss on Mileena's cheek. It wasn't too long before Scorpion began to act like his normal self again.

"I love that wraith" Mileena said and felt her cheek which was now warm. Mileena picked up the thunder god and marched back to the classroom before anyone became suspicious, like Shao Kahn.

**I bet none of you have figured out what **_**Furui yagi**_ **means**. _**Go ahead and google it, I'll be here. **_


	10. The crazy fucked up ending xD

Baraka woke up in the hospital and he felt his face. His Tarkatan teeth were missing and so were his arm blades.

"NURSE! DOCTOR!" Baraka yelled. A nurse walked in and almost fainted.

"H-Handsome" she managed to sputter and laid on the floor semi-conscious. Baraka smiled and felt his head. He now had medium length black hair and his skin was a nice olive tone.

"Finally people call me handsome" Baraka muttered to himself and walked over to the mirror on the wall. He looked deeply into the mirror and smiled.

"Fuck it she lied, I'm fucking sexy!" Baraka yelled and dashed out of the hospital. He ran to his classroom and when he walked in everyone gasped.

"Raiden, I thought you said mortals weren't allowed to be in Outworld?" Kitana asked.

"They aren't" Raiden said staring at Baraka.

"So he is an intruder? Trying to expose us and take us to laboratories?" Mileena asked. Now everyone was amused and circled in on Baraka. Kitana whipped out her steal fans while Mileena scraped her sai across her teeth to sharpen them.

"No wait guys! It's me, Baraka!" Baraka yelled frantically. Scorpion chuckled slightly.

"What do you know? The motherfucker actually looks decent" Scorpion commented and Mileena giggled.

"Shut the hell up Scorpion. At least I'm not a living skull and Mileena you can't be laughing either. Without that mask you look like you waddle in rocks" Baraka sniggered. Mileena and Scorpion nodded to each other.

"What are you two about to do?" Raiden asked. Scorpion sent him an innocent look.

"Nothing, we're going to catch Baraka on school work" he said sweetly and pulled Baraka by his ear. Mileena licked her lips and nodded. Raiden held up a finger.

"Fifteen minutes, face and abdomen hits only. I don't want that much blood spread on the rugs, the janitors just cleaned them" Raiden said and waved them off.

"So class, go through your workbooks, stare at a page, and then close them. After that, do whatever you want" Raiden said and laid back in his chair.

"Wow, Raiden's actually cool now" Sub-Zero said smiling. Johnny laid back in his desk and Sub-Zero came running over to him.

"Hey everyone, I've been thinking and I say that you all love fighting and food right?" Raiden asked. He was interrupted by Baraka's screams ricocheting off the walls and then there was a silence. Raiden raised an eyebrow and went to stand up but then Baraka tumbled in crying and holding his side.

"Get the fuck back over here!" Scorpion yelled and his spear flew in. It wrapped around Baraka's leg and Baraka dug his nails into the floor.

"No please! Heeeeeeeelllllllllp!" he yelled and was dragged back into the hallway. Kitana watched as Baraka crawled back in and Scorpion dove in the classroom, grabbed Baraka, and twisted his left leg. He lifted Baraka up and tossed him back into the hallway and Mileena pulled out her sai and they all heard a painful ripping sound.

"Lord Raiden, what is it you were talking about again?" Sonya asked. Raiden opened his mouth to speak but then Baraka started to scream again.

"Oh Raiden the pain! Stop please! Owww!" Baraka yelled and they heard a loud pop sound. Kitana winced and then they heard a groan and a giggle.

"What the hell are they doing?" Jade asked and Raiden opened the door. Mileena was in the hallway with Baraka's severed hand in her mouth giggling. The groan came from Baraka who was now bleeding to death on the floor.

"Aren't you going to call a nurse?" Kitana asked and Raiden shook his head.

"The bastard shouldn't have been fucking with them. That's what's wrong with people today, all in other's business" Raiden said coldly and motioned Mileena and Scorpion back into the classroom.

"I forget what I was going to say. Anyways, now we have to dispose of Baraka" Raiden said and started to scrub blood from the hallway. Mileena and Scorpion had to wash their weapons, her sai and his spear, to keep people from knowing about the murder. Raiden put Baraka's body into a trash bag and electrocuted it so only ashes were left.

"Shit just got real" Smoke muttered and Scorpion kept staring at Mileena and she kept staring back at him.

"Aww, you too finally love each other?" Kitana asked and Scorpion put her in a choke hold.

"NO, I'm reading her thoughts and she's reading mine. We're thinking the same thing: we should throw a party" Scorpion grunted and let go of her throat. Liu saw what happened and ran over to Kitana.

"You son of a bitch" Liu said and raised a fist but without even blinking, Mileena dashed in front of Scorpion and kicked Liu in his forehead.

"Not in the mood" Mileena growled and kicked the two aside. Raiden walked back in with a banner and some balloons that said:

Oh happy day, Baraka is slain!

Jax burst out laughing and all of them stared at him.

"Yo, that's fucked up man. You kill a nigga, electrocute him, and then throw a party" Jax explained and kept laughing. Shao Kahn and Shang Tsung walked in and saw the banner.

"Raiden, what have you done?" Shao Kahn asked and Raiden looked at Shao Kahn with eerie eyes.

"Look here motherfucker, these kids are basically insane but I love them. They're my life and another student kept fucking with them so I told them to go whoop his ass. I didn't expect them to kill him but he got what he motherfucking deserved. Fire me, I don't give two shits, but you can't keep me from seeing these kids" Raiden growled. Shao Kahn's eyes grew huge and he left out.

"Resume what you were doing" he yelled from the hallway and ran back to his office.

"We love you too Raiden" Mileena said and everyone hugged him except for Scorpion who high-fived him.

"Keep doing what you're doing Scorpion, I see you doing well in your future. Now my little Kombatants, let's throw us a party" Raiden said and bumped up the bass. Everyone danced and laughed with Raiden and Raiden knew right then and there that there was no other place he was supposed to be than with these children.

THE END!

**_I just want to say, thank you for reading my little random stories and thank you all for not giving up on me. I promise there will be more randomness, more craziness, and more side splitting hilarious things in my stories. Always and forever, WildSugarPatches (^-^)(P.S, if you have any ideas that you would like me to do, PM me and let me know ^-^)_**


End file.
